i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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