Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize