Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
