So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
