you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
