Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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