Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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