Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
