Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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