There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
