got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
