I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
