your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
