you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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