I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
