Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
