Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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