we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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