So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
