I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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