Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
