So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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