I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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