this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
