I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
