That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
