I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
