too bad you live with your parents still
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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