I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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