Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
