I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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