whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
