bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever