I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?