But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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