Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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