His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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