Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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