Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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