Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we made out on top of his cat.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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