So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
whose parrot is this?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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