She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
