Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bring money and cleavage
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
