she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize