I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
