3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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