Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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