dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
