it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
