She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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