tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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