once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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