he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
