Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
