Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
