I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
