I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
